Гекзаметр о чае (и будо), автор - Ordinator

When you have decided to gather the coziest tea-drinking party,
It may happen so, that some person will turn out being ingrateful
And acting like some lousy jackass from dopehead-infested back alley.

He may say to you: "I don't like your oolong, so you give me some moonshine.
And better do quick, or I gonna be breaking the best of your tea sets.
Since fighter I am, who's as savage as chihuahua stepped on his rear end".

You don't get upset, oh my glorious friend, due to his bad behavior:
The party ain't over, the fun's only starting its way to unfolding,
You know how to treat all such kinds of pretentious and insolent dimwits.

Grab him by his hair and start hitting the table with his haughty dial
(Though better be sure that no pieces of tea set are harmed accidentally,
And you have enough of detergent to wash nasty mug's bloody traces).

Drag him outside, when the mug knows the table as its mirror image
(While striking his butt with your knee, if he tries to escape the punition),
And leave him amidst local bum's aromatic and fancy belongings.

***

... Returning back home, you no longer will feel any dismay or sadness.
With laughter and joy you'll be washing the tablecloth from bloody traces.
And say: "Hell, I'm happy! The tea was so nice, it was heck of a party!"